When We Go Antiquing

April 8, 2013

Is the “hipster” fad over?  It feels like that expiration date should have passed long ago. 

But I just want to make sure, because that word has collected too many definitions to keep track of. It tricked us all into being uncool by accident.

I got the feeling that hipsters were just young people who really liked old things, things like record players and vintage bikes and ironic mustaches, things that require constant maintenance yet always look in disrepair.

Mike and I are not very good hipsters. We are young people that like young things. We believe in expiration dates.

On Saturday, Mike and I accidentally wandered into an antique store in San Juan Capistrano.

There are only a few things that we are really bad at. Antiquing is one of them. 

Here are some lessons we learned:

  1. Management keeps the really cool stuff locked in glass cases. They are careful to protect valuables like cat broaches and muskets.
  2. If there is a decorative or ironically-small cowboy boot, you should probably try it on.
  3. Every dead-eyed baby doll should be considered for purchase. 
  4. Each aisle has as many mannequins as it does mirrors. This means there are plastic eyes on you at all times. Don’t be scared. This is what it feels like to be a celebrity.
  5. You are going to want to buy something ridiculous, something like cross-stitched wall art or a hat that makes you feel important. Don’t do it. You are not that important.

Some things have an expiration date for a reason.

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