Sometimes I Put Socks on Our Dog

September 6, 2012

In my head, I know that people who talk about their dogs too much are annoying. Multiply that annoying factor by a million and you get the people who dress their dogs in miniature sweaters. I’m confused about where I land on this spectrum because I talk about our dog frequently and sometimes put socks on my dog as a joke. If I’m doing the math correctly, I’m pretty sure that makes me annoying.

All dog owners: keep reading. It’s worth it.
Everyone else: you have my permission to skip this one.

The only reason I bring this up is so that I can prove to you how hilarious dogs-in-socks is. If you have never experienced this, I’m about to do you a favor.

Remeber: annoying is only worth it when it is funny.

I got the original dogs-in-socks idea from an article in Runner’s World Magazine that advocated “dog clogs” for off-road running with dogs. Again, in my head I know this is ridiculous, but Mike and I thought this might be a good idea because:

  1. It would necessitate a trip to REI.  In case you didn’t read this post, Mike loves REI almost more than he loves me. True story.
  2. 2.At the time, we lived in Yuma, AZ which is the hottest city in America. Walking our dog was like playing the “hot lava game” on a jungle gym… minus the jungle gym.

We were concerned. So we tested out the dog clogs and failed.

Even though we failed in this attempt, an idea was born: in the safe and loving environment of our home, we can laugh really hard at the expense of our dog.

Level 1 on the funny scale: Dog in a headlamp

Level 2 on the funny scale: Dog in a t-shirt.

Level 3 on the funny scale: Dog in sweatpants.

Level 4 on the funny scale: dog in socks

Level 5 on the funny scale, the MAXIMUM level of funniness…

Dogs in whitie-tighties.

You’re welcome.

As I wrap up this post, I need to tell you that I am sitting in a coffee shop laughing hysterically. Like, I am withholding a belly-laugh, so I just sound like I am breathing heavily beneath my cupped hand over my mouth. The twenty-something guy sitting near me asked what was so funny and when I showed him pictures of my dog in underwear, he smiled graciously. He didn’t laugh.

I could see it in his eyes.

He was thinking, “Man, this girl thinks this is funny, but actually it is just really annoying.”

I really hope he stumbles across this blog someday.

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