Sometimes I get bored at work.
I mean, my job is fine because it is the sort of job that pays money, but some days I would rather do something else, like sunbathe or go to the zoo.
On those occasions, I inspire myself with a secret hobby.
I come up with ideas. Lots of ideas. Some might call them shenanigans, but I call them cubicle adventures or cubi-ventures.
One of my great ideas occurred a couple of months ago, when I seriously considered transforming my work cubicle into a military bunker, leveraging military crates and camouflage netting to create a brand-new workplace experience.
You see, I work for the government, for the military part of the government, and everyone is very official. A lot of them are very serious all of the time, and I’m only able to be serious part of the time. So in February, I schemed to create a bunker and planned to put a sign out front that read “BRACING FOR SEQUESTRATION.”
But then sequestration turned out to be not that big of a deal. So I had to move on to my next idea.
One of my bosses came by my cubicle a few weeks later. He looked at my bare walls and asked how I planned to decorate. I replied by asking what the corporate policy was on ice sculptures.
That was the end of that idea.
Recently, I’ve considered wearing 3D glasses to work, staring through those red-and-blue lenses while I update Excel spreadsheets or edit technical documents with “Track Changes On.” If anyone asked why I was wearing 3D glasses at work, I would respond, “I heard they made some updates on Microsoft Office last night. I’m wearing these just in case, because you never know.”
Today I had another idea.
I would really like to discretely install a fog machine under my desk. Is it possible to do this discretely? Here’s my plan: around 10:00am, right when I hit my pinnacle of productivity, I would turn on the machine and explain to coworkers that the smoke was coming from my keyboard and earlobes. My productivity would generate a smoke screen of apocalyptic proportions. It would be incredible.
I come up with a lot of ideas at work, but there’s another thing I do when I get bored or restless. I mean, most of the time I limit workplace hobbies to idea-making cubi-ventures, but every once in awhile I do something else entirely.
I buy plane tickets.
Two months ago, I found an amazing deal on the Internet, and before I knew what was happening, the mouse clicked “buy” then “confirm,” and in a flash, I was the proud owner of two one-way tickets to Canada.
One way tickets.
on a Thursday afternoon.
For the record, this is the exact same scenario that preceded our “Hashtag Ya’ll Ready For This” vacation.
A good friend called and invited us to meet him in Switzerland on his R&R from deployment. “Yes!” I said, “We will meet you in Switzerland!” I hung up the phone and two days later bought roundtrip tickets… to Dublin.
Don’t worry. We figured it out.
And by “we” I actually mean Mike, the one who finds us tickets back home, reroutes us from Ireland to Switzerland, and requests out-of-country leave from the military. He is also the one who plans the entire itinerary for a vacation. I’m the one that shows up on game day with the backpack that he bought for me… and likely packed for me as well.
Speaking of which, I’d like to tell you that Mike and I are going to Canada this weekend. I have no idea what we are doing, just that we are going on a Thursday afternoon.
All I can say is that I’m thankful for a husband that is responsibly spontaneous, one that shakes his head when I say “We’re going to Dublin!” “We’re going to Canada!” “I can’t find my 3D glasses!” “Where do you keep your camouflage netting?”
I’m also thankful for a job one that is just boring enough to be a terrific idea factory.
Because adventure is everywhere, even in a cubicle.
And you probably think I’m joking about the smoke machine. But maybe I’m not. Maybe the only real problem is that I haven’t figured out how to transport the fog machine on the shcooter yet.
Don’t worry. It’ll come to me.
In the meantime….
Buckle up, Canada. Here we come.